me: it’s after midnight you should really go to bed
brain: cool, but what if, instead, we thought about what it would be like if david duchovny, chris carter, mitch pileggi, and nicholas lea were in a boy band together
David is obviously the cocky charismatic good looking lead singer
Mitch is the dramatically goofy drummer who tries too hard to be the funny one and make fans like him
CC is the showoff guitarist who is always jealous of DD for having all the spotlight even though he “totally is the lead songwriter for the band and all the songs are his idea and no one understands him”
Nicholas Lea is the brooding pouty aloof bad boy bassist who is secretly a softie who loves snuggling baby rescue kittens
Band name: Alien Boyz 👽
Their hit songs include It’s Rainy in Vancouver Without You, Undeniably Falling Over U, and Up in Cigarette Smoke
The Alien Boyz are back! This time with their debut holiday album Alien Stiletthohoho
Track List
1. Unwrap My Package
2. Aliens Are Coming to Town
3. Rocking’ Around the UFO
4. Zeta the Grey Skinned Reticulan
5. Grandma Got Abducted by a Spaceship
6. Have Yourself a Merry Little Colonization
Sad news from Alien Boyz headquarterz today. Chris Carter has left the band to pursue a solo career. Insiders say he was unhappy with the amount of attention received by Alien Boyz lead singer David Duchovny. The artwork for Carter’s upcoming solo album, Unchained, was recently leaked online, initially prompting the rumors of the Boyz impending split.
“I’m so grateful for everything that has happened in the last two years and I will forever fondly look back on our time together,” Carter said in a statement released by his management. “However, the time has come for me explore other opportunities. I love all of the Boyz and they will always be my Brotherz. To all of the fans, I can only say thank you. Thank you for an experience that has been beyond anything I ever could have imagined, and I can’t wait to see where this new journey takes us together.”
The remaining Boyz released a statement of their own, which reads in part, “We love Chris and wish him the best. If he ever changes his mind, we’ll always be here.”
But the lyrics to their brand new single, Anchor, which does not include Carter, have some believing that the split was not as amicable as they would have you believe.
“You used to be my anchor,” Duchovny monotonically croons. “But now you’re just dead weight.”
He insists, however, that it’s not about anyone in particular. “It, like most of our songs, is about many things that will remain private. The song is for you to make sense for you, in your own lives.”
The Alien Boyz are four once more! Amid recent rumors, a brand new photoshoot has officially confirmed that Robert Patrick will join the Boyz for their next album and world tour. After the untimely departure of guitarist and backup singer Chris Carter, who left earlier this year to embark on a floundering solo career, many were wondering if the band would continue as a trio or if Carter would be replaced.
In the announcement accompanying the new photos, the Boyz said, “We tried making it work as a trio, but we just felt like there was something missing. Robert has been a good friend of ours for a long time and it was a natural fit. We’re so excited to welcome him to the family and know our fans will love him as much as we do!”
Carter’s debut solo album, however, was universally panned by both critics and fans alike. Reviewers referred to the tracks as purple, cliche, and maudlin, while the fans openly resented Carter for breaking up their beloved foursome.
“It’s a far cry from the lyrical prowess of the Boyz,” one fan wrote. “Chris likes to think of himself as JT, but everyone knows he’s really Lance Bass.”
Despite the criticism, Carter says that he has no issue with this new era: “I’m excited to support the band on this new leg of their journey. No animosity here. I love all the Boyz. Platonically, of course. No romo.”
